Satureday June 23, 2007. One of those weekends when i don't bother to leave my room. M sitting in my room sipping through a big cup of hot coffee. Gosh...its pretty cold in here today. Don't have much to do...and I am blank as ever. Nothing to do...nothing to think about. Then Suddenly I realized how fast things change in life. Thinking not very long back...till just 6 years back... I was curious restless soul...quiet exuberent...an extrovert....used to speak like a chaterbox...smiling...laughing...don't care a damn attitude...may be a too much of all that. Than those 3 very difficult years...full of frustration...failure...and more do emotional harrasment from all those whom I never cared about...who had no role in my life. Just even thinking of those days make me feel so scared even today. In those 3 years...everybody whosoever had something or else to say to me...Most people slaaped the worst of their comments and some said good words with lot of sarcasm.
I always have maintained that life need not be good for ever....we are not living in heaven...tings meant to go wrong and they will and be prepared for them...but till the end of those three years i was about to break down.
Three long years...and it was not only me who was going throug that worst patch of my life...It was about the whole family. Still find it difficult to understand how did i manage to go through all that...but then I had some people who jus loved me for nothing. I don't know how they managed that.
Those three years...sitting in that one room...No one to speak to...i was scared to laugh...because i was not expected to laugh...I didn't speakwhen I waned to...because i was not supposed to...I didn't meet people...because i was scared that someone would ask somrthing that I won't have answer to.
Those 3 years, changed so many things...I was a changed person...I was too cautious in everthing I do...hadn't spoken for long time...I forgot the art of speaking. Noe I used to speak only if I have to...laugh only if it is perfectly fine to laugh.but that was a beginning towards a better time.
Thinking back...I do think i have become a better person...i learned to respect people and make sure that i don't hurt people specialy when they r going through a bad patch...a few things have changed a bit too much.Need a correction on a few things.Life has taken a full circle in just 6 years.
Now the things are a bit better...I need to work on making them even better and stay thankful to those who were with me and loved me for some reason out of my understanding.
Shit! I don't know why I wrote all this....but anyways...This was another random thought spiked through my mind....will pass away..but my love for ones who loved me will never fade away.
